Thursday, June 25, 2009

underground

I have come to love being "the woman of the house" so to speak... Kirstin is staying here too, so I'm not quite my lonesome, however, I adore cooking for a group of people that love each other, love the Lord, and appreciate your doings. I just love it. I have loved unloading the dishwasher, re-arranging the refrigerator to make more room and pulling out all the "shit" that is disgustingly backed up into the drain - which lacks a compactor. I love it!
This week is one of the greatest - we are, literally, glued to this 150 year old home in Media, Pennsylvania. This specific house was utilized, uniquely, as an active link to the underground railroad. There is a hidden staircase near the side of the kitchen and a hidden room on the second floor of this unbearably historical 3 story house (with a dungeon included in it's musty basement). This house helped slaves find freedom! How awesome is that to think about?

We have done a lot of.... nothing. This week has consisted of waking up whenever you darn-well-please and sitting on the porch, watching "Heroes" and "Planet Earth", reading books that you can't set down - as if there's literal glue keeping your eyes pasted to it's pages. The only schedule we have had to keep is knowing that we are busy from 6-8pm everyday for VBS. : ) That's it. : ) What a fabulous way to begin Summer Min! ; ) Sabbath weeks are crucial! Right?!

This is so awkward. I'm sitting on the toilet right now - I peed like 5 minutes ago, but I'm really, really, really comfortable... So I really do not think I will move until I finish typing this. I'm silly.

Today, my best friend had a really tough and stressful day (which might be a severe understatement). In all honesty, it was probably one of his very worst; resulting from a buildup of not knowing exactly how he was going to make ends meet or where he should venture off to make them.
Severe uncertainty resolves itself once the uncertain thinker and doer ultimately abandons himself and focuses on the good of others instead of watching their "whole life crumble before their eyes" and being so worked up and tangled up in that selfish, vicious circle - rather, selling the things they own (not just literally speaking) and recollecting all of their gains, and in response - counting them as loss... laying the "Jezebel tendencies" to the ground, and going after the Lord; earnestly, diligently, expectantly, and hungry. Hungry to love him, hungry to serve him, hungry to be humbled and broken before him. I have been a blessed, changed person by watching this beauty unfold in this man's heart right before my eyes. I love being able to be somebody's best friend through this endearing process as well. (and YES, that means being selfless enough to sit and listen to them sort through their racing mind's thoughts and their painful hinderances!! Without complaining - or fussing about "being used"). ((---that's just a side note for certain people.. excuse me---))

I love being able to come behind this loved one, and simply listening with a good, caring set of ears and pray for him; tremendously, numerously and whole-heartedly. Yeah - I've got issues. Yeah - I'm not perfect. Yeah - I'm broken. Yeah - I'm empty. But my prayers DO matter, and my life IS being used... and this relationship is glorifying, pleasing and holy.
Praise the Lord for making all things new, and for the power HE has to restore ourselves, our lives, our broken hopes, relationships and hearts. & making them even more beautiful - more breathtaking for his glory.



This is an old Irish Blessing... & I think it's quite enjoyable.

May you always have...
Walls for the winds
A roof for the rain
Tea beside the fire
Laughter to cheer you
Those you love near you
And all your heart might desire.



Come & listen - calm the waters that draw you; who know and fear the Lord.
Let me tell you *show you* what he has done for me; done for you.
done for us.

Sunday, June 21, 2009

q is my wiz

"most of the dandelions had changed from suns to moons" (Lolita, 73).


I am, quite frankly, the laziest of those who ever lazied! I am sitting in Pennsylvania right now at nearly 1:50 in the morning - opening up my old blogspot account, and reactivating it. Oh the joy!


What is your current obsession?
Pens (I am suddenly all about pens, carrying them with me, looking for new ones), small but dangly earrings, pearls, things that are turquoise, lemon hand lotion, leggings with shorts, reading Ralph Waldo Emerson anything, and - I never thought I would say this - but roses. Anything rose! The smell, the taste (as far as lip balm goes), actual roses...

What is your weirdest obsession?
I guess you might say that my weirdest obsession is BUTTS. I love peoples' butts! I don't know why - I feel like you can tell a lot about a person by their butt! Sorry for my bluntness.

What are you wearing today?
Well, earlier today I had on this lovely black dress that was one of those "shoulder strap" dresses, and was tight around the waist. Then, after eating lunch with the pastor and his family with my summer min team, I changed into a gray tank top and put on purple linen pants to do gymnastics & some dancing with the pastor's youngest daughter, Alexandria. Then, after doing a series of front limbers, back handsprings, and rolling around on Maryland's wet grass, I changed again into a pair of running shorts. Same brown leather sandals all day though!

What's for dinner?
I ate a vegetable calzone and a bottle of Dr Pepper at Pinocchio's and a soy chai tea! (All on ENC's tab!)

What's the last thing you bought?
Containers of Rose Cold Cream.

That question about a fully furnished, paid-for house that everyone answers with 'Paris' or 'New York'.
Oh geez. I don't know. I'm actually okay where I am. (especially this summer - being that I am in a different state playing music every week!) I've never not liked where I lived! But I suppose I would say, if we have to pick something extravagant, I would love to head South. I would love nothing more than to develop a thick accent like my family from Alabama and sit on a beautiful wrap around porch every night along with the setting sun, tea and a fabulous book in hand. I will also be typical and say New York, because wtf-ever! I don't live that far away as it is, and hopefully some fantastic individual will hire me from there and I will be preciously quaint and whimsical. Maybe teach yoga in some loft located ontop of a delectable sushi restraunt.

What is your must-have item for summer?
Air conditioning. I wilt and die in the heat. But also, my rosebud salve for my ever chapped lips. & of course my many summer dresses. : )

If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would it be?
To bed with my best friend, the blankets all fixed, fluffed and everything perfect.

Who do you want to meet right now?
I would love to meet Phil tonight in my dreams...

What is your favourite piece of clothing from your own closet?
I hate this question. But, I will pick. I have this royal blue dress hanging in my closet back home, in Kansas, that is tight fitting, the straps twist and lead you to think it's a halter dress. It's very low cut and makes my cleavage (or lack-there-of) just fabulous.

What is your dream job?
I hate this question too! I have so many passions.
I would like to be a writer, please. Oh, and a wedding dress designer. And a musical therapist and work with children in hospitals... in critical condition. I would like to teach yoga. Oh, and have my own caffe and create the most mesmerizing playlists, bring in the most fabulous bands, and make the most wonderful food, tea and coffee.

What's your favourite magazine?
I like Elle. I'm pretty basic and boring with this stuff.

What do you consider a fashion faux-pas?
When people leave the “100% Cashmere” on their coat/scarf/etc. Also, when they leave the little threads in the vents or pleats of jackets. It really irritates me.

Describe your personal style.
Bookish feminine. Oh geez, I don't know! I have been told I am bohemian. Lindell told me last week that I am a "total hippie". I really like it when people tell me they think I am artsy looking and that I belong with a cup of coffee in my hand (which I then traslate to "tea in my hand" because coffee is so undelectable).

What are you going to do after this?
I will throw all of the books that are strewn across my bed on the floor (lightly, because Pastor Dawn is sleeping directly below me), and I will probably roll around for 20 minutes and then fall asleep.

Three styling tips that always work for you:
1. Always over-dress for the occasion.
2. When in doubt, tie it in a bow.
3. Cardigans fix a multitude of sins. ***

What are you proud of?
Oh, silly things. This blog, I think it's rather nice. My journals, the little stupid poems written in the margins of things. My grades, surviving the semesters and all that. Overcoming - slowly but surely - some of my personal hangups... because there are several.

What do you see outside your window?
Beautiful Pennsylvania!! Mountainesque hills, a pool and a gravel road.

What is your favorite color?
I gravitate towards that really light, peachy, pinkish tan color of tea-paper.

What is your weakness?
Tardiness. I am epic-ly awesome at it. Oops.

What animal would you be?
I think I would be a lady-bug!

What would you like to learn how to do?
I would adore learning the harp. & to be honest and rather vain, I think I would be pretty damn good at it.

What do you want to never happen in life?
Mummies!!

What is on your bedside table?
Seeing that I just got here this afternoon, I'm pretty sure that I have my contact case, rosebud salve, Hunter S. Thompson's "Rum Diaries" (Phil's pick for my summer-reading!), my ipod and probably a sobe life water.

What was your favorite children's book?
The Polar Express

What did you want to be as a child?
A wedding dress designer!

What did you dream about last night?
No idea. I have been having really mundane dreams these days. It's very hard to tell what things really happened and what didn't, what was in dream territory and what is real. It's making things really hard, sometimes! It makes my days seem all fuzzy and weird.

Which do you prefer, day or night?
Night - I get my best work done at night for sure. But, I also really enjoy the daytime! But night is more sacred to me - everyone is "dead to the world", so to speak, and it's just me. Just me and God. Late night time is so spiritual to me.

What would you like to get your hands on right now?
A really expensive, deep redwooded cello. & a white dress to wear with it. & then have Phil take pictures of me and make me feel beautiful.

What is your must-have of the moment?
Numerous multi-colored v-necks and high-waisted skirts! They do great things on my body type!

What's your favorite tea flavor?
I favor floral flavors. My favorite ever is Mariage Freres Eros tea, although almost any black tea with roses is delightful for me. But I also enjoy a nice cup of white tea.

What are you looking forward to?
Summer! I'm sure once it gets here I'll be totally over it, but for now it seems to be running away from us even as we prepare for it. The days keep hovering around the high 50s and mid 70s—which normally is perfection. I just want it to be hot now though! I want to be scorching and oppressed by the heat and then I want to jump in the pool and maybe go drink a strawberry milkshake and feel sick for drinking dairy on a hot day.

Now, my question:

Pick one line of poetry that sums up your mood right now. (That's not a question, but whatever <3)
“I was going to write a poem
I made a pie instead”



Extraordinary efforts are being made
To hide things from us, my friend.
Some stay up into the wee hours
To search their souls.
Others undress each other in darkened rooms.

The creaky old elevator
Took us down to the icy cellar first
To show us a mop and a bucket
Before it deigned to ascend again
With a sigh of exasperation.

Under the vast, early-dawn sky
The city lay silent before us.
Everything on hold:
Rooftops and water towers,
Clouds and wisps of white smoke.

We must be patient, we told ourselves,
See if the pigeons will coo now
For the one who comes to her window
To feed them angel cake,
All but invisible, but for her slender arm.

-Pigeons at Dawn, Charles Simic