Baby, be mine. You would look sooooo good on me!

Winter Blues

I have had many cases of the good ol' "Winter Blues"... for years now. Not to the point of diagnostically labeling it or anything of that sort, but just enough to notice a drastic difference between my consistent mood in January versus in July. The comparison is alarming and upsetting. Perhaps it has something to do with living in freezing Boston, but perhaps it doesn't. It is more than likely just a natural funk that happens! Although this happens to the best of us, (on a happier note) I am leaving for Florida on Friday!!! (That is 4 days from now!) So, so, so very excited! This is a much-needed trip, and I will be rejuvenating myself as much as possible. If only the sweet girl running for Student President wouldn't have just come by my room to offer me a hammer-shaped sugar cookie for her vote! Mmmm. My thighs, which will be squeezing into a sexy yellow bikini in a matter of days are telling me, "No!"

Dear Anthropologie,

I only have eyes for you. You see, I am so deeply in love with each creatively designed trinket, your ornately detailed vintage apparel, and your "My grandma was Doris Day"cinematic sort of fashion, as well as your one-of-a-kind classic vintage appeal to nowadays clothing. I'm enthralled and I wish I could be a designer for your company. O Anthropologie, if you ever need a wedding dress designer for future bridal apparel, I would delightedly leave Berklee in half-a-heartbeat. You have truly done well as an accessory, clothing, and furniture store; and you hereby have my utmost understanding for having such sky-high prices. (Its because you are as good as fashion comes!)

Forever yours,

Jess

Shutter Island

I went to see "Shutter Island" last night, and my mind was hexed.

Oh, Leo.

Oh Johnny Mayer, as much as I love you and would give anything to you - - - What have you done?

http://blog.zap2it.com/thedishrag/2010/02/john-mayer-gets-choked-up-apologizing-for-playboy-interview-at-concert.html

I want to get away and do something so adventurous and spontaneous this Spring Break! I have been looking at tickets online and am semi-tempted to just do it. To just buy the plane ticket and find myself in California for my lovely Spring break.

Summer Min

I am sincerely sad that I chose to not audition for Summer Ministries again this year. These are some of my very favorite moments of this challenging experience.

blackberry

The last 3 days I have spent in Boston... walking from point A to point B... to C and D and E.... and just going on and on and on. It's so fabulous. I have found some pretty spectacular places to sit down, get a nice soy chai tea and do my homework. I ate at a middle eastern caffe yesterday, it was splendid... and now I'm at this place called "b.good". It's right across the street from Harvard and it SCREAMS, "PHIL!!" (in laymans terms, my boyfriend would have a taste-bud-gasm if he were here eating it with me). It has complete WiFi which is abundantly fabulous and INCREDIBLE chocolate shakes. : ) : ) Phil WILL be back here with me.

Having a GPS in Boston is one of the most wonderful things... even though it can get confused sometimes. I have been looking at various victoria's secrets in the Boston/Cambridge area, and there are... like, 10!! I just type in vsecret and it takes me to the nearest one (if that's the one I want). Call me an idiot, but I'm just now discovering how efficient and convenient these little wonderment's of technology can be and are.

Anyways - I'm currently writing a paper on Feudalism and it's meaning, the primary places it's used (Political, military, or social)... and the reasons for it's essential emergence.

I got my check back from my Itouch refund today... got a whopping 230 dollars!! Holy sweet Jesus I'm happy.

I'm going to finish this paper up! I will write a more meaningful post sometime.. soon I hope.

dry

I ran far, and I dove in deep...

I found myself a love that I thought could hold & keep.

I swam a distance and I jumped high;

I found myself some pearls,

but they deceived my eyes.

I've looked hard and I've sought for long;

I've looked for other loves that claim to be limitless and strong.

My head says to keep going, but my heart's craving is to stop.

Lord, keep me searching. Keep me yearning for you.

I don't want to throw all of this away for something that I laid at your feet years ago.

I am sitting in Western Heritage and I just cannot believe the way this professor wanders in his talking. I feel that I'm traveling West, then East, then West again in a land I've never even heard of. His topics are so cluttered and I have such a hard time following - it's one of those classes where the textbook becomes your best friend. The guy knows his stuff, but he doesn't convey it in the organized fashion in which I crave. Oh well, I will still do very well. I have turned in all my papers & essays, as well as every map that had to be completed. Yay, Jess!!

My fabulous boyfriend sent me this - check it. : )

What a great T-Shirt. : ) We have a little thing where we both like to sit alone, and that is one of the first things he noticed about me last fall, before knowing my name, age, or impeccable piano skills. ; )

Those were the days. ENC just isn't the same without him here.

Now it's off to Math... which isn't really math. It's more like physics and calculus combined. Ew. Once again, yay for getting all the required work in... done well.

This is really a pointless post - so I'm ending it now.

the siren

I've had my itunes on random today, letting Apple himself pick my music. One of the songs that another rolled into playing caused my chest a tight, thickening amount of pain. This song, "Nicest thing", was played daily; not just out of my computer speakers, but in my head for many months. My room-mate may even tell you she heard me humming it in my sleep, or belting it while throwing my loose-fitting jeans on in the morning.

It's incredible how music empowers us in these dynamic ways. It's incredible how moving music is to our minds and our hearts.

It's amazing how music can heal....

and how it haunts.

It's a double standard; a contradiction.

It's thought provoking how hearing this piece of art sung today haunted me the very same way it did in March.

You know that aroma?.....

The one that makes you smile... from your left ear to your right. The smell of a certain flower that your grandma had in an antique glass on her sink... in the heat of summer, still protruding abundantly through your aroma of heat's dirt and sweat? Or the smell of "Christmas" (whatever that may be to you)... cozy fires, apple cider... I believe the "first snow" even has it's own precious scent. Cranberry tea is one of my favorite.

Then there's those fragrances that become physically ailing because of the memories they re-deliver so tactfully, making you pause to reevaluate. Because of the memories... the fragrance paralyzes you with fear.

Music is aroma.

It's movement is poison.

Music is our ever-moving and our ever-saving grace,

Music begins; as well as walking us countless steps back.

Music provides for us it's very own silver screen display of flashbacks.

The Holy spirit moves itself through the driving drums with the full orchestra demonstrated on it's piano... the heightened, ornate vocals on top of the intricately strummed guitar.

This is spiritual, it's alive - it's moving.... it's breathing. It's personified.

It is music.

It is dangerous.

beaches and bums

The shape of her soul is a square.
She knows this to be the case
because she often feels its corners
pressing sharp against the bone
just under her shoulder blades
and across the wings of her hips.
At one time, when she was younger,
she had hoped that it might be a cube,
but the years have worked to dispel
this illusion of space, so that now
she understands: it is a simple plane,
a shape with surface, but no volume—
a window without a building, an eye
without a mind.
Of course, this square
does not appear on x-rays, and often,
weeks may pass when she forgets
that it exists. When she does think
to consider its purpose in her life,
she can say only that it aches with
a single mystery, for whose answer
she has long ago given up the search—
since its question is a word whose name
can never quite be asked. This yearning,
she has concluded, is the only function
of the square, repeated again and again
in each of its four matching angles,
until, with time, she is persuaded
anew that what it frames has no
interest in ever making her happy.

I am mildly feverish today and have already been in all of my classes, Praise God! - I am really, truly loving this "start my day at seven in the lovely morning". It feels so right to be done at noon and then hit the books! (and one tree hill!) Uh oh, here I go.....

I can't believe myself most days... I complained about high school every day - skipping, being "sick", having dad come and get me, excuse after excuse after excuse - and now that I'm out, I just can't live without some sort of high school drama-infested, high energy teenage love soap opera. It makes me tick! In last nights episode, my mind was utterly warped - one of Lucas' old friends (whom he lost touch of due to his basketball career - and of course, the engaging women swooning after him) brought a gun to school and after a long drawn out day of "code reds", "lockdown", and the school swarmed on the outside with the swat team...... Jimmy ends up shooting himself. It was so intense and so emotion-provoking. I had so much to finish for school work by this morning, but I just could not bring myself to press pause. In any case, "One Tree Hill" is becoming a new favorite... It's right up there with Gray's Anatomy and Lost. : ) (but then again, these three shows are the only three I have actively involved myself in.

I used to blog like this, nearly, every day. And I am so sick of the way I have let my writing, music, reading, painting/collaborating items on a canvas, and sewing go. I am losing my creative side to school, and my heart is beckoning that I bring back some of these creative outlets.

Well, in the last month, I have really experienced some incredible things... enough things to make any young and vibrant thing, like myself, tossle and turn and emerge with enough excitement to last years. But before I go on and explain the month of August, let me tell you what I submitted myself into doing for the summer.

I traveled from June 20 to August 8th. I was on a worship team called "Redemption" and we played at family, teen and kids camps, worked at VBS's, played at churches, worked with youth, delivered sermons when needed or when necessary, came up with group activity games, camp counseled, and just played music and with kids all summer long. It was long, demanding, exhausting and slightly overwhelming at times... but at plenty of other times, it was refreshing, warm, necessary, fruitful and fulfilling. I got to visit with girls that were currently dealing with things that I have gone through. I was able to offer my testimony, my battle plans in fighting the sin that sickens me regularly, and my hope in their seeming hopeless situations. I asked and allowed the Lord to use me as "the pen of a ready writer" (as David would say in Psalms), and He most faithfully did. I can't even believe the perfect placement of these conversations; I was intricately placed into each scenario with a purpose, with my own embellishments, and with pain and doubt; but nonetheless, those are the type God tends to do business with. This summer was rough on me and some of the things I was facing emotionally and physically, but I truly learned what it is to abandon myself and my most earnest, dearest desires and dreams. The Lord took Berklee School of Music off of my heart this summer and put Missionary on it. I'm not sure the steps that I am going to have to begin taking to fulfill where God wants me, but He knows how I work and He knows that all the proper doors must be opened and my heart must remain willing, which I have every intent on maintaining.

Towards the end of the summer, I was just finished with Summer Min. I wanted to come back to school, desperately, and fix my room up for this school year... If you were to ask anyone on my team, they would tell you that I had a craving to do that more than anything. I just wanted to organize my sweaters and cardigans into my dressers, hang up my long and lovely dresses, put all my shoes in my door hanging shoe compartments, and put all my books up, from largest to smallest, on my book shelf. So, when I got back, (at 3 in the morning on August 8th), I jumped into my perfect boyfriend's jeep (he had been there for about an hour waiting on our arrival), and I merely attacked him. I threw my arms and my legs around him and just started kissing him. In his jeep. I was surprised that I didn't bump the horn on the steering wheel, but in any case, I was ecstatic. We went up to my room, dropped my bags off, and he went to sleep.... around 5 I had decided "I cannot sleep for the life of me!", so, I called up the security office and had them unlock storage... I completely loaded EVERYTHING into my room from the building I was in last year, and had everything moved into my room by 8 that morning. It was the most wonderful morning of my life. We then went to Chipotle and spent the day together... it was heaven. & little did I know the next several weeks I would have with him.....

That night, Saturday, we left to go to his home in New Jersey. We got in around 1:30 in the morning and I crashed in Caitlin's room (his sister, who I totally love and cracks me up), and we went to his church the next morning. I got to meet all the people that watched my little Phil grow up. It was idyllic. I have one heck of a Jesus-man, I tell you.

So anyways, we lazied around on Sunday and then left for his grandma's beach house on Long Beach Island (about 20 minutes from his house), and spent the afternoon on the beach (after i locked his keys in his jeep and called triple A) ;) - the whole week was this incredible. Every day we went to the beach and just enjoyed each other's presence. We jet-skied, shopped, champagned, and learned how bad at "apples to apples" he is... (and how good I am). I'm just joking. I learned the basic methods of surfing, I got to meet his entire family, get to know his mom and sister a little more, and be in the house that he grew up in. It was epic! Everything a girl could dream of.

One night while on the beach, we had found a lifeguard stand and decided to give it a sit.

We climbed up and chatted about sweet and simple nothings... and ten minutes in to our romantic beach talking, this comically crazy, curly red headed woman walked up to us - while having a conversation with herself in the meantime. She made striking eye contact and asked us, "are you guys lifeguards?"... we answered, "no". And she just begins to mutter about how "young" we were... walks away.

She then turns back around, comes back towards us and asks how old we are, I had a feeling that Phil wasn't going to say a whole lot, so I decided to take this one and said, "20". (which is just ridiculous given that I'm 19 and Phil is 22... I didn't get either of our ages right!)

She flung her hand up in the air and was mocking us for our age, walks away the way she did the previous time and, just like before, turns around again to approach us with another question...... "do you guys drive?", "Yes".

"Do you have cars?",

"Yes".

She then asks my boyfriend IF HE IS SIGNED UP FOR THE DRAFT!

Okay, at this point, I am laughing in my stomach and worried in my head. My thoughts are everywhere, from "that bag shoulder strapped around her body is awfully big... I really hope it's just necessary things in there.... necessary as in, NO GUNS!?"

(Ridiculous - I know. But this lady was creepy! You woulda thought that too... I just know it).

Phil answers, "Yes". She asks, "Do you know what the library of congress is?"

and Phil answers... "Yes", and she begins to mutter again about how impressed she is that we knew what the library of congress was. She was muttering and jabbering, stammering and shoeless. And her bag was just too close to her hand the whole time, leading Phil's mind, as well as mine, to wonder and race.

She then asks us if we drove here, and Phil and I both answer, "No... we walked" as she went on and on about the expense of cars in fluid conversation with herself. She babbled about car insurance again and added her two cents to how we must have well paying jobs to pay for our own car insurance and have our own cars.

As she walked away from us, she had some sort of anger blanket that covered her. I kept watching her as Phil was looking ahead, and she was livid. She was still muttering about money and our age and how we were in a lifeguard stand and how she graduated with my mom??? I don't even know... it was so obscure. This story just makes me laugh and makes me so very curious as to either what she was trippin' on, or if she accidentally busted loose from an insane asylum. It was so random and so odd, I have never had an encounter like that in my life... and I am very glad it happened with Phil. : )

Our week together was unforgettable... we had a fantastic time, and I am so grateful for that week.

It's off to finish my paper and hit the books!!

Don't be a stranger.

i easily forsake pearls & lace

If it were 10 years ago from this very night and you came to me and said, "Jessi, what do you want to be when you grow up?",

my eyes would have widened, I would have started jumping/dancing slightly (the way excited girls do), my blonde curls would have bounced as an old mattress's springs', and my toothless-grinned-response would be something like this; "I want to be a wedding dress designer and make poofy cinderella dresses for princesses!"

Isn't it amazing how we take our childhood dreams and brush them off our bony shoulders and let them remain our "fantasy" while we, complacently, grow up?

I think we had those certain dreams and passions instilled in us and were born with us for a purpose... a purpose that we've flippantly ventured away from and have tried and succeeded in fixing our eyes on something more exciting... something new, something mysterious - something that requires stepping upon new ground.

Had I remained in my number one goal, I might be in some prestigious fashion institute.. in New York maybe. Designing, sewing, designing, sewing, designing and sewing. I would probably have much more fabulous and elaborate clothing, and I would, hands down, be much more creative in the way I would wear it. In any case.... I want to get back into this. I want to design and sew again.

Here was my first "project"... that took time, money, attention, thought, neglect; then thought and attention again...

This was my highschool senior prom dress. I spent 17 dollars on it overall. : ) 14 layers of thule, chiffon underneath the thule... and random yellow flowers everywhere. : ) What a fun dress to work on. I rouched the inside (which you cant see), by gathering many random pieces, scrunching them closely together, and then sewing them together... in comparison to what a flower might be sewn like, into the skirt.

This dress I found online and is called "Gray Sparrow Dress". The price is in the mid 700 dollar range - It is made of 3 layers of chiffon and silk. Gray... with a beige strap and a plum colored strap... and just for comfort, it has a soft cotton jersey liner on the inside... just because it is that 720 dollars presh.

This piece of art is running at $1,800... It is evidently inspired by the rebellions, independent women roaring right outa the '20's. The slip is bias cut creme silk charmeuse, with ivory hand painting, and lace on it's hem. The dress is a collage of new and antique laces. There are vintage glass buttons, also.

This next dress is just simple, cute, and if you know me - you know I would wear this every day if I could!

If you were coming in the fall,
I ’d brush the summer by
With half a smile and half a spurn,
As housewives do a fly.

If I could see you in a year,   
I ’d wind the months in balls,
And put them each in separate drawers,
Until their time befalls.

If only centuries delayed,
I ’d count them on my hand,  
Subtracting till my fingers dropped
Into Van Diemen’s land.

If certain, when this life was out,
That yours and mine should be,
I ’d toss it yonder like a rind,  
And taste eternity.

But now, all ignorant of the length
Of time’s uncertain wing,
It goads me, like the goblin bee,
That will not state its sting.   

-Emily Dickinson's "If you were coming in the fall"

underground

I have come to love being "the woman of the house" so to speak... Kirstin is staying here too, so I'm not quite my lonesome, however, I adore cooking for a group of people that love each other, love the Lord, and appreciate your doings. I just love it. I have loved unloading the dishwasher, re-arranging the refrigerator to make more room and pulling out all the "shit" that is disgustingly backed up into the drain - which lacks a compactor. I love it!
This week is one of the greatest - we are, literally, glued to this 150 year old home in Media, Pennsylvania. This specific house was utilized, uniquely, as an active link to the underground railroad. There is a hidden staircase near the side of the kitchen and a hidden room on the second floor of this unbearably historical 3 story house (with a dungeon included in it's musty basement). This house helped slaves find freedom! How awesome is that to think about?

We have done a lot of.... nothing. This week has consisted of waking up whenever you darn-well-please and sitting on the porch, watching "Heroes" and "Planet Earth", reading books that you can't set down - as if there's literal glue keeping your eyes pasted to it's pages. The only schedule we have had to keep is knowing that we are busy from 6-8pm everyday for VBS. : ) That's it. : ) What a fabulous way to begin Summer Min! ; ) Sabbath weeks are crucial! Right?!

This is so awkward. I'm sitting on the toilet right now - I peed like 5 minutes ago, but I'm really, really, really comfortable... So I really do not think I will move until I finish typing this. I'm silly.

Today, my best friend had a really tough and stressful day (which might be a severe understatement). In all honesty, it was probably one of his very worst; resulting from a buildup of not knowing exactly how he was going to make ends meet or where he should venture off to make them.
Severe uncertainty resolves itself once the uncertain thinker and doer ultimately abandons himself and focuses on the good of others instead of watching their "whole life crumble before their eyes" and being so worked up and tangled up in that selfish, vicious circle - rather, selling the things they own (not just literally speaking) and recollecting all of their gains, and in response - counting them as loss... laying the "Jezebel tendencies" to the ground, and going after the Lord; earnestly, diligently, expectantly, and hungry. Hungry to love him, hungry to serve him, hungry to be humbled and broken before him. I have been a blessed, changed person by watching this beauty unfold in this man's heart right before my eyes. I love being able to be somebody's best friend through this endearing process as well. (and YES, that means being selfless enough to sit and listen to them sort through their racing mind's thoughts and their painful hinderances!! Without complaining - or fussing about "being used"). ((---that's just a side note for certain people.. excuse me---))

I love being able to come behind this loved one, and simply listening with a good, caring set of ears and pray for him; tremendously, numerously and whole-heartedly. Yeah - I've got issues. Yeah - I'm not perfect. Yeah - I'm broken. Yeah - I'm empty. But my prayers DO matter, and my life IS being used... and this relationship is glorifying, pleasing and holy.
Praise the Lord for making all things new, and for the power HE has to restore ourselves, our lives, our broken hopes, relationships and hearts. & making them even more beautiful - more breathtaking for his glory.



This is an old Irish Blessing... & I think it's quite enjoyable.

May you always have...
Walls for the winds
A roof for the rain
Tea beside the fire
Laughter to cheer you
Those you love near you
And all your heart might desire.


Come & listen - calm the waters that draw you; who know and fear the Lord.
Let me tell you *show you* what he has done for me; done for you.
done for us.

q is my wiz

"most of the dandelions had changed from suns to moons" (Lolita, 73).


I am, quite frankly, the laziest of those who ever lazied! I am sitting in Pennsylvania right now at nearly 1:50 in the morning - opening up my old blogspot account, and reactivating it. Oh the joy!


What is your current obsession?
Pens (I am suddenly all about pens, carrying them with me, looking for new ones), small but dangly earrings, pearls, things that are turquoise, lemon hand lotion, leggings with shorts, reading Ralph Waldo Emerson anything, and - I never thought I would say this - but roses. Anything rose! The smell, the taste (as far as lip balm goes), actual roses...

What is your weirdest obsession?
I guess you might say that my weirdest obsession is BUTTS. I love peoples' butts! I don't know why - I feel like you can tell a lot about a person by their butt! Sorry for my bluntness.

What are you wearing today?
Well, earlier today I had on this lovely black dress that was one of those "shoulder strap" dresses, and was tight around the waist. Then, after eating lunch with the pastor and his family with my summer min team, I changed into a gray tank top and put on purple linen pants to do gymnastics & some dancing with the pastor's youngest daughter, Alexandria. Then, after doing a series of front limbers, back handsprings, and rolling around on Maryland's wet grass, I changed again into a pair of running shorts. Same brown leather sandals all day though!

What's for dinner?
I ate a vegetable calzone and a bottle of Dr Pepper at Pinocchio's and a soy chai tea! (All on ENC's tab!)

What's the last thing you bought?
Containers of Rose Cold Cream.

That question about a fully furnished, paid-for house that everyone answers with 'Paris' or 'New York'.
Oh geez. I don't know. I'm actually okay where I am. (especially this summer - being that I am in a different state playing music every week!) I've never not liked where I lived! But I suppose I would say, if we have to pick something extravagant, I would love to head South. I would love nothing more than to develop a thick accent like my family from Alabama and sit on a beautiful wrap around porch every night along with the setting sun, tea and a fabulous book in hand. I will also be typical and say New York, because wtf-ever! I don't live that far away as it is, and hopefully some fantastic individual will hire me from there and I will be preciously quaint and whimsical. Maybe teach yoga in some loft located ontop of a delectable sushi restraunt.

What is your must-have item for summer?
Air conditioning. I wilt and die in the heat. But also, my rosebud salve for my ever chapped lips. & of course my many summer dresses. : )

If you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would it be?
To bed with my best friend, the blankets all fixed, fluffed and everything perfect.

Who do you want to meet right now?
I would love to meet Phil tonight in my dreams...

What is your favourite piece of clothing from your own closet?
I hate this question. But, I will pick. I have this royal blue dress hanging in my closet back home, in Kansas, that is tight fitting, the straps twist and lead you to think it's a halter dress. It's very low cut and makes my cleavage (or lack-there-of) just fabulous.

What is your dream job?
I hate this question too! I have so many passions.
I would like to be a writer, please. Oh, and a wedding dress designer. And a musical therapist and work with children in hospitals... in critical condition. I would like to teach yoga. Oh, and have my own caffe and create the most mesmerizing playlists, bring in the most fabulous bands, and make the most wonderful food, tea and coffee.

What's your favourite magazine?
I like Elle. I'm pretty basic and boring with this stuff.

What do you consider a fashion faux-pas?
When people leave the “100% Cashmere” on their coat/scarf/etc. Also, when they leave the little threads in the vents or pleats of jackets. It really irritates me.

Describe your personal style.
Bookish feminine. Oh geez, I don't know! I have been told I am bohemian. Lindell told me last week that I am a "total hippie". I really like it when people tell me they think I am artsy looking and that I belong with a cup of coffee in my hand (which I then traslate to "tea in my hand" because coffee is so undelectable).

What are you going to do after this?
I will throw all of the books that are strewn across my bed on the floor (lightly, because Pastor Dawn is sleeping directly below me), and I will probably roll around for 20 minutes and then fall asleep.

Three styling tips that always work for you:
1. Always over-dress for the occasion.
2. When in doubt, tie it in a bow.
3. Cardigans fix a multitude of sins. ***

What are you proud of?
Oh, silly things. This blog, I think it's rather nice. My journals, the little stupid poems written in the margins of things. My grades, surviving the semesters and all that. Overcoming - slowly but surely - some of my personal hangups... because there are several.

What do you see outside your window?
Beautiful Pennsylvania!! Mountainesque hills, a pool and a gravel road.

What is your favorite color?
I gravitate towards that really light, peachy, pinkish tan color of tea-paper.

What is your weakness?
Tardiness. I am epic-ly awesome at it. Oops.

What animal would you be?
I think I would be a lady-bug!

What would you like to learn how to do?
I would adore learning the harp. & to be honest and rather vain, I think I would be pretty damn good at it.

What do you want to never happen in life?
Mummies!!

What is on your bedside table?
Seeing that I just got here this afternoon, I'm pretty sure that I have my contact case, rosebud salve, Hunter S. Thompson's "Rum Diaries" (Phil's pick for my summer-reading!), my ipod and probably a sobe life water.

What was your favorite children's book?
The Polar Express

What did you want to be as a child?
A wedding dress designer!

What did you dream about last night?
No idea. I have been having really mundane dreams these days. It's very hard to tell what things really happened and what didn't, what was in dream territory and what is real. It's making things really hard, sometimes! It makes my days seem all fuzzy and weird.

Which do you prefer, day or night?
Night - I get my best work done at night for sure. But, I also really enjoy the daytime! But night is more sacred to me - everyone is "dead to the world", so to speak, and it's just me. Just me and God. Late night time is so spiritual to me.

What would you like to get your hands on right now?
A really expensive, deep redwooded cello. & a white dress to wear with it. & then have Phil take pictures of me and make me feel beautiful.

What is your must-have of the moment?
Numerous multi-colored v-necks and high-waisted skirts! They do great things on my body type!

What's your favorite tea flavor?
I favor floral flavors. My favorite ever is Mariage Freres Eros tea, although almost any black tea with roses is delightful for me. But I also enjoy a nice cup of white tea.

What are you looking forward to?
Summer! I'm sure once it gets here I'll be totally over it, but for now it seems to be running away from us even as we prepare for it. The days keep hovering around the high 50s and mid 70s—which normally is perfection. I just want it to be hot now though! I want to be scorching and oppressed by the heat and then I want to jump in the pool and maybe go drink a strawberry milkshake and feel sick for drinking dairy on a hot day.

Now, my question:

Pick one line of poetry that sums up your mood right now. (That's not a question, but whatever <3)
“I was going to write a poem
I made a pie instead”


Extraordinary efforts are being made
To hide things from us, my friend.
Some stay up into the wee hours
To search their souls.
Others undress each other in darkened rooms.

The creaky old elevator
Took us down to the icy cellar first
To show us a mop and a bucket
Before it deigned to ascend again
With a sigh of exasperation.

Under the vast, early-dawn sky
The city lay silent before us.
Everything on hold:
Rooftops and water towers,
Clouds and wisps of white smoke.

We must be patient, we told ourselves,
See if the pigeons will coo now
For the one who comes to her window
To feed them angel cake,
All but invisible, but for her slender arm.

-Pigeons at Dawn, Charles Simic